What makes a woman confident?

demi confident

I feel as though this is a popular topic to discuss. The topic of confidence. I don’t speak to men, when it comes to matters of confidence –

Ladies, I’m telling you – They have enough. Men, men, are so flipping confident these days. I tell you, I’ve never met a single male, anywhere, that hasn’t told me what to do. They tell me what I should be doing with my time. Of course, I shouldn’t be wasting so much time, worrying about my student loans –

But I do. It’s all I can think about. I go hard, get what’s mine, take what’s mine. I work hard these days, and I must tell you, confess to you, ladies –

My confidence is directly related to my money. These days, I feel a lot of pep in my step. I’ve bolstered up my student loan payments, and I feel good. Actually, I feel great. I’ve traded in my butter knife for a tomahawk, and I’m literally stabbing the shit out my student loan. It’s the best feeling I’ve ever experienced.

I’m confident. It absolutely, unequivocally, has to do with money. Money makes people confident, I’m convinced. This has nothing to do with gender, it has everything to do with money.

Except when people think about money and power, people automatically think about men. One famous Miamian once said, “In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women,” but where do women factor into all of this?

These days, unfortunately, people seem to conflate women’s confidence with sexiness. The truth is, I’m not feeling so sexy these days. I live with my parents, friends. The gig is up. It was when I had already decided not to be sexy that I realized that there was this momentous pressure to be sexy.

In order to be confident, women must be sexy, or that’s how the story goes. Our media positively depicts this image. In Demi Lovato’s song, “Confident,” she boasts about finally letting go and being a freak. Female confidence is always portrayed in this weird, sexualized way. Yeah, I’m confident because I’m a freak and I like fucking with the lights on – what?

A number of times, old men have straight up looked at me, told me, “Look at that body, and you’re not even using it.” It’s kind of like slut shaming, except the situation is in reverse. I ain’t slutting this time around. I’m making money, and I know, I just know, that if I were in a man, this would be positively reinforced.

Except I’m a woman, so I’m wasting my time with this money business. Ladies, I’m going to let you in on a little secret that men have known all along – Money is power. Suze Orman famously wrote that money has no intrinsic power of it’s own, and no offense to her, but I completely disagree.

Money has intrinsic value. Money is power. Money is autonomy, and that’s what people want. I just know it. If there’s anything I’ve learned in my chosen profession, it’s this – no matter how young, how old people are, they want to feel in control of their own lives. We are the masters of our fate, we are the captains of are souls. It’s unreasonable for us to think that men can and should bail us out of our financial troubles. They shouldn’t.

If the boy simply doesn’t believe that you don’t have it in you to make money, then reconsider his company, and just like the Queen says, “always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper.”


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