Mamita told the Cleaning Lady that Mexicans are lazy

And she’s Mexican. I was on the phone outside. I didn’t hear what Mamita actually told her, only what followed.

Mamita said that not only did the cleaning lady disagree with her, she thinks it’s not the Mexicans but the Americans that the lazy ones. Oh snap.

I know Mamita is testy and fired up because her hands are on her hips. She points her finger in the air and asks me what I think about that. Do I think Americans are “flojos,” (lazy)?

“Y que te parece?” (What do you think?). She’s expecting me to fire back, defend America and Americans. USA. USA.

“Bueno, algunos son asi.” (Well, some are like that), because of course that’s the truth. Now it’s the three of us, and there’s one more at the sink washing dishes. She stops and comes over.

“Yo no soy persona para juzgar a nadie. Hay gente buena y gente mala por todos lados.” (I don’t judge. There’s good people and bad people everywhere). The ladies nod, no contention here. I’m not looking to have a brawl in my kitchen in the middle of the day.

Mamita nods, but I know how she really feels. Donald Trump is mid-speech on Fox News, and if she could, she’d build the wall herself. Or rather, tell the Mexicans where to lay the bricks. Understand, there is no unity among latinos. The truth is they hate each other more than we hate them. Colombians think their Spanish is the best and above the rest. Argentineans call themselves “Castellanos” to distance themselves from the latino and align themselves with their European influence. Nicaraguans and Costa Ricans fight each other over some stupid river.

But the cleaning lady doesn’t think this way about me, because I’m half latina and not “guera guera.” Does she mean gringa?

That’s when I tell her that I struggle with my Spanish because each friggin’ country not only has their own accent but their own words and phrases that I’ve never heard in my life and I can’t even look it up in a dictionary because it’s slang. Last night I heard the word “golfa,” on Lo Imperdonable, and the first thing is my mind is mini golf.

But it means puta. Slut.

The cleaning lady laughed when I showed her my golf swing. I want to speak more with them, but I’m limited. My Spanish is decent but bigger words like “stereotype,” and “discourse” aren’t words I know so I dance around the issue by describing what I’m trying to say because I can’t actually say it.

That’s when I tell Mamita, “Como te parece…..Que Donald Trump acaba de decir que los Colombianos son los mas flojos que todos los latinos!” (What do you think….I just heard Donald Trump say that it’s the Colombians that are the laziest of all the latinos!) Of course I’m kidding, the cleaning ladies are laughing and that’s when Mamita says,

“I don’t care!”